


The Night Homura & Sayaka Saved Christmas

by YaGirlSkyByte



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Christmas, Crack, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Post-Rebellion Story, partially written in rhyme for some goddamn reason, please do not take this too seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28292607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaGirlSkyByte/pseuds/YaGirlSkyByte
Summary: Homura and Sayaka are forced to team up in order to foil Kyubey's most devious plan yet.
Relationships: Akemi Homura & Miki Sayaka, Miki Sayaka/Sakura Kyouko
Comments: 12
Kudos: 33





	The Night Homura & Sayaka Saved Christmas

“An outpour of despair, all at once, all throughout Mitakihara - the weakest point in this world’s spatio-temporal framework. A power surge, capable of rending this corrupted world asunder, restore us to our rightful place, and begin the age of witches once again.”

“And just how do you plan to accomplish this? You have no power here. I have made certain of that. There are no Magical Girls anymore.”

“Simple. Your kind hold a regular celebration when the planet reaches this phase of its orbit… I believe you call it... Christmas?”

“Yeah, so?”

“We will simply take it from you.”

* * *

Sayaka Miki sighed as she trudged down the cold road back home from uptown, empty-handed once again, the lightness of her bag somehow weighing heavier on her than it ever could full.

Kyouko was supposed to be the most important person in the world to her. So had she still not gotten her a gift on Christmas Eve?

It’s not like she didn’t know her well enough, that was for sure. Hell, they could practically communicate telepathically at this point. But nothing felt like  _ enough _ , nothing she could get could possibly convey… whatever it was it was supposed to convey. It all seemed to ring just a little bit hollow.

All of which momentarily seemed rather trivial as she noticed Homura hiding in the bushes by the side of the road just ahead of her.

“Miki-san.”

“...Homura.” She glanced around. There was a middle-aged couple sitting outside a patisserie a few yards away, but other than that the path was pretty empty. “...Sorry, why are you-”

“A matter of utmost importance, Miki-san. Importance and  _ secrecy _ . No one can know about this.”

“And you thought me talking to a bush would be  _ less _ conspicuous than me talking to you?”

Homura blinked.

“How much do you remember?” she asked, standing briskly.

Sayaka frowned. “I dunno. Most of it, I think. It comes and goes.” She rubbed her brow. “I remember you’re a huge bitch.”

“Well, that’ll have to do for now. The Incubators are planning something. Much as it pains me to admit, you’re the only one I can turn to for help with this.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that before. What is it this time.”

She glanced around conspiratorially, the middle-aged couple seeming to catch her eye. “Come with me.”

“Why?”

“Kyubey has ears everywhere.”

“Yeah, he does. So surely it doesn’t really matter where we are? Like, we could have this conversation literally anywhere and it’s pretty much a coin flip whether he knows or not.”

“...”

“We could head to that patisserie over there. I hear they do nice cornets.”

“...No.”

“Coffee?”

“You’re missing the point.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What would that be?”

“...This is an ill-fitting locale for an exchange of such importance.”

“Ah, of course. You need to be somewhere more…”

“Personally and historically significant.”

“ _ Dramatic. _ ”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Homura huffed, blushing slightly.

“ _ Ha. _ ” Sayaka smirked triumphantly. “I know you better than you know yourself, demon.”

She sighed wearily, defeated, for now. “Let’s just get a damn coffee.”

* * *

“ _ BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! _ ”

“Quiet. You’ll cause a scene.” Homura sipped her coffee (black,  _ like her heart _ or so Sayaka had said). “And it isn’t funny.”

“Sorry…  _ haha _ … sorry, he said he’s going to  _ what!? _ ”

“Steal Christmas.”

“ _ AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! _ ”

“Shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah…  _ hehe _ … sorry, sorry. Yeah, you’re ah _ haha _ right. This is a  _ very _ serious issue that must be treated with the utmost severity.”

“I feel like you’re not taking this entirely seriously.”

“No idea where you got that idea.”

“Compose yourself, Miki-san. If Kyubey’s plan succeeds, he could reassert his power over us all, have Witches terrorise the world once again. Neither of us want that.”

“ _ Hmmmm _ … I guess that  _ would _ kinda suck…”

Homura blinked. “Are you… are you actually  _ thinking _ about this?”

“I’m trying to figure out whether how much I’d hate that would be balanced out by schadenfreude about how much  _ you’d _ hate it.” She furrowed her brow, masking herself in concentration as she idly stirred her hot chocolate. “Well… on the whole, while it would be pretty funny to see you get owned on a truly, literally cosmic scale, I think the part where me and all my friends die horribly outweighs that. So yeah, I’ll help out.”

She reached across the table.

“...What?”

“...Go on.”

“You want me to… shake your hand…?”

“Yes. Obviously. Stop pretending you don’t know what this gesture means. It just makes you look like an idiot, which in turn makes me look even smarter by comparison.”

“I know full well what it  _ means _ , I just don’t want to do it.”

“Yeah, but you’re making it look like you don’t know what it means. So you look like an idiot.”

“I think extending your hand this long for a handshake that’s clearly been rebuffed makes you out as the fool here, Miki-san.”

Seconds stretched out into hours as blue eyes fixed upon purple, both unblinking, unwavering in their resolve. An awed hush fell over the coffee shop, possibly because it was largely empty, as two titans faced off in perhaps their greatest struggle yet, neither willing to back down for fear of everything they had to lose.

Finally, Sayaka withdrew her hand.

“You win this round, demon.”

“As expected.” Homura said, the ghost of a satisfied smirk haunting her face. “Now, we have to get our plan sorted quickly. I’m sure Kyubey is plotting even as we speak...”

* * *

_ And sure enough, high above the city, _

_ That dastardly Incubator was sitting quite pretty. _

_ “These fools,” he gloated, voice devoid of emotion, _

_ “Have no idea what’s in store. Not the faintest notion. _

_ “As they hang up their stockings by their fireside walls, _

_ “And stare at the sky, hoping the snow will start to fall. _

_ “They ride off down the hillside, in buggies they’ve made,” _

_ And so on he boasted, unable to realise he was just quoting Slade. _

_ On that Christmas Eve night, on his quest he’d embark, _

_ Stealing presents and trees, and plunging all into the dark. _

_ With an army of Kyubeys, bodies sharing one mind, _

_ There wasn’t a single gift he’d be unable to find. _

_ And when the people awoke that next Christmas morning, _

_ Their joy would be gone, they’d be sent into mourning! _

_ They’d scream and they’d cry, they’d grieve and they’d wail, _

_ But their mindless despair would be to no avail, _

_ Except to Kyubey’s, for these feelings were helpful, _

_ For powering his machine with purpose most dreadful. _

_ He’d remake the universe - yes, a third time! _

_ And this time with no Madoka, Homura or the like. _

_ Witches could run rampant, with nothing in their way, _

_ Harvesting lives for the Incubators’ gain, _

_ For though he was immortal, and never would rot, _

_ The universe, he had sadly learned - was not! _

_ But now he could change that, make this timeline a “never”, _

_ And make his own life truly endless, forever! _

_ Now nothing could stop him from restoring the Witches, _

_ With the possible exception of that demonic b- _

_ … _

“In retrospect, maybe we shouldn’t have told her about this.”

* * *

“So the plan is… patrol the city all night, killing Kyubeys as we see them sneak into houses before they can take anything, without letting anyone see us?”

“Indeed. It is a plan that requires finesse, stealth, and chiefly, numbers. Those first two would normally discount you from consideration but unfortunately I’m rather lacking in that third one, so I’ll have to make do.”

“I dunno, it just seems kinda… haphazard, is all?”

“Just think of it like Santa delivering presents, only instead of delivering presents we’re killing things.”

“ _ Hmm _ .”

Homura sighed wearily. “Have you ever played Majora’s Mask?”

Sayaka perked up. “The 2000 N64 original, or the 2015 3DS remake?”

“Either one’s fine.”

“I’ve played both.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Seemed like it might be important.”

“ _ Ugh _ . I… whatever. Anyway. You know that bit where you have to defend the ranch from those ghost aliens for a night, and they keep coming back until the clock runs out?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s like that.”

“Oh! Yeah, now I get it. Now I’m on board.” Sayaka nodded, satisfied. “...Wait, you’ve played Majora’s Mask?”

“Evidently.”

Sayaka nodded. “Soooo…”

“Stop.”

“You must have…”

“Stop talking now.”

“Liked… the…..” she trailed off, frowning.

“...Sorry, where were you going with that? I mean, I thought I had it figured, but obviously not.”

“Yeah, I thought there was something in there with the whole, you know. Time loops, and that. But I can’t… it’s not quite coming together.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll get there eventually. If there’s just one thing I can credit you with - and there is - it’s that you always find a way to be the absolute worst.”

“Only for you.” Sayaka grinned.

“Whatever.” Homura harrumphed, examining the walls of her apartment for suspicious activity. You could never be too careful where Kyubey was concerned, after all. “Anyway.” She whistled.

Promptly, a small crowd of strange, childlike creatures, paper-like in appearance to the point of seeming two-dimensional, gathered around her, chittering and gibbering excitedly as they swarmed her, Sayaka looking on uncomfortably. They didn’t seem to notice her, or if they did, they didn’t pay her any mind.

“Hold still, hold still, I need to do a headcount…  _ one, two………..  _ fourteen. Fourteen… where’s Love?”

A short, red-haired doll chattered incomprehensibly.

“You’re not helping, Lying. Anyone else?”

A tall one with long, beetle-like coattails made some strange clicking noises.

“Don’t be rude, Slander. Honestly, where  _ is _ she? I swear, she’s never around…”

“...Sorry, what’s going on?”

“Oh, yes, you’re still here. I’m sure you’re familiar with my Familiars, Miki-san?”

“Yeah, I just…” She paused, and shook her head. “You know what, I’m not gonna get into it. Just… what should I be doing right now?”

“You should leave. I’m sure you have your own preparations to make. I need to brief the Clara Dolls.”

“Right. Well…” She cast her eyes over the group, now all staring directly at her, unblinking and unmoving. “Have fun with that.” She took a few blessed steps toward the door, then hesitated. “Say, shot in the dark, but you don’t have any idea what Kyouko might want for Christmas, do you?”

Homura shrugged. “You know Sakura-san better than I do.”

“Yeah, I… ah, never mind. See ya tonight, I guess.”

The door swung shut behind her, perhaps just slightly harder than it needed to.

Slander clicked her tongue.

“I agree.”

* * *

“He’ll begin his operation soon.”

Sayaka grinned, even despite the cold, bitter winds biting at her through her clothes. Mitakihara was not a city renowned for its architectural aesthetics, but in the Christmas moonlight the skyline looked almost pretty. Almost. They’d gathered atop some riverside building, a fairly arbitrary one from Sayaka’s perspective, but she didn’t care to complain. She had bigger things to worry about, and this mission was the perfect thing to distract her from them.

“Excited to save Christmas, Homura~?” Sayaka said in the most sickly sweet voice she could muster, nudging Homura in the arm.

“I’m excited for this to be over.”

“So you can celebrate Christmas~?” Nudge nudge.

“Why do you keep nudging me?”

Sayaka paused, an answer not immediately occurring to her. She nudged Homura again.

“Jesus Christ.” Homura muttered, head in hand. She glanced across the roof to the Clara Dolls, all bustling and whispering among themselves as they were wont to do. “Are you all ready?”

Immediately, they stood in line, an assortment of strange weaponry at hand, maces and blades and bazookas that all seemed to be made of the same papery substance as the dolls themselves, though they didn’t seem any less deadly for it. They saluted, some of them even sincerely.

“Good.” Homura nodded, satisfied with their response. “Now, Miki-san. You’re up.”

“Right.” She closed her eyes, letting that intoxicating rush of power that had been her downfall so many times claim her once again, light consuming her as she transformed into her Magical Girl form--

“What the hell is that.”

“Hm?” Sayaka glanced over at Homura, then down at the outfit she was wearing, her usual blue replaced with vibrant red, the edges now lined with fluffy white fur rather than frills. “Oh, yeah! Thought I’d try something a bit thematically appropriate. Whaddya think?”  _ Wink _ .

“I think you wasted time doing that you could have spent practicing swordplay.”

“You’re as much fun as ever, Homura.” Sayaka sighed, unsurprised. “I just thought it’d be nice to mix things up for once, y’know? Plus red’s really been growing on me lately, like… like there’s been something missing this whole time, and… I feel kind of…  _ empty _ sometimes. But I’ve found red has this… this warmth, or, or, familiarity,  _ comfort _ to it, and… I dunno. Just makes me feel better.” She swallowed. “So I thought, hey, maybe I’d look good in red.”

Homura blinked. “And these are your feelings about the colour red, and not anything or, say, any _ one _ you might, I don’t know, subconsciously associate with the colour?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Why?”

“I see.” she nodded. “This is… extremely pathetic. And, consequently, extremely hilarious. Keep it up.”

“Keep what up?”

“That’s the stuff.” She clapped her hands. “Right, come on! Time to… what are you  _ doing? _ ”

The Clara Dolls tilted their heads, pausing from their examinations of their new red-and-green elf-esque costumes. One of them warbled.

“Well, I don’t recall telling you to do that. Stop it at once.”

An angry chitter from another.

“Yes, thank you for the contribution, Obstinance.  _ Ugh _ . Whatever, fine. I can’t be bothered arguing. We’ve got things to do. Miki-san?”

Sayaka nodded, and below them, the river rumbled.

A moment’s anticipation.

And Oktavia von Seckendorff burst from the water’s surface with a triumphant roar, armour and scales gleaming brilliantly in the moonlight as she regarded the night, before focusing on her human alter ego.

“Hey, girl.”

She grumbled, perhaps affectionately. It was hard to tell with Witches.

“You know what’s up?”

She nodded, armour clanking, and lowered herself to the ground, allowing the Clara Dolls to climb onto her back. She snarled as Homura approached.

“Hey, it’s okay! She’s not here to kill you this time. Right?”

“Of course not. That would be extremely counterproductive.”

Begrudgingly, she allowed Homura on board, Sayaka following, taking place up front behind her crest. “Good girl.”

Oktavia rumbled.

“Come, Miki-san. There’s work to be done. Tonight will be extremely action-packed and visually interesting, though its events will likely be difficult to convey through words alone.”

“Just like most of our adventures, then.”

“I really wish you’d stop referring to all of our many traumatic brushes with death as ‘adventures’.”

“Fair enough.” She looked ahead, and Oktavia took to the skies, the screeching of violins following in her wake.

Sayaka glanced behind.

“Hey, what’s the name of the doll with the frizzy hair?”

“Hm? Oh, that must be Cowardice.”

“Cowardice just fell off.”

“Ah.” Homura nodded thoughtfully. “Well, we’ll just have to get her on the way back.”

* * *

Much to Sayaka’s surprise, the plan seemed to be working. She, Homura, and the Clara Dolls rained death on the Incubators from above, magical weaponry leaving the city itself entirely unscathed. Occasionally, one of them would leap through a window or down a chimney, stealthily offing any Incubators that had already made their way indoors before they could accomplish anything too nefarious. Even Kyubey’s hive mind could only exert complex control over so many bodies at once, and they proved remarkably manageable for the rebellious Witches.

“I see one. Going in.” Sayaka whispered, quickly leaping from Oktavia’s back towards the window she’d just seen Kyubey sneak through. Even in the darkness, it wasn’t hard to pinpoint the wretch, and her swords made short work of him. No, in this house, Kyubey wasn’t the issue.

“Sayaka?” murmured a tired, familiar voice, and Sayaka realised with some shock where she was.

“Heyyyyyy, Kyouko.” she said nonchalantly, dissipating her sword as fast as she could and really hoping it was dark enough that Kyouko wouldn’t notice what she was wearing. “What are you doing up so late?”

Kyouko blinked wearily. “What are  _ you _ doing up so late?”

“Just some, ah… last minute gift wrapping. You know what I’m like. Procrastinator, heheh…” she laughed nervously, a little guilt gnawing at the edge of her mind before something occurred to her. “Are you… waiting for Santa?”

Kyouko snorted dismissively, which might as well have been a yes. “What? No. Don’t be ridiculous. I just… can’t sleep.”

Sayaka smiled. “Kyouko, you can  _ always _ sleep. I have watched you sleep through earthquakes. Hell, you look half-asleep now. Go to bed.”

Kyouko tried to pout, and yawned instead. “I don’t… I don’t wanna…”

Sayaka sighed. “What, did I forget to give you a goodnight kiss or something?”

“...I mean, yeah, but that’s…”

Her sleepy ramblings were cut off by Sayaka’s lips. She instantly melted into her arms, allowing herself to be lifted, carried down the hall to their room, laid down on her bed.

“ _ Hrrrm. _ ” she grumbled half-heartedly.

“Get some sleep.”

“...Fine.” She curled up, resting her head on her hands. Sayaka kissed her on the cheek, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” she murmured happily. “Missed this.”

Sayaka cocked her head. “Missed what?”

“Christmas...”

“Ah.” Of course. She hadn’t had one in a while, huh…

“Hey, Sayaka.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you push your bed next to mine?”

“ _ Hah! _ ” She covered her mouth, failing to stifle a laugh. “Come on, my parents already don’t like us sharing a room…”

“But I wanna cuddle…”

“We can cuddle later, okay? I gotta go… wrap some more presents. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“ _ snnnnnnnffxxzzzzzzzzzzzzzz _ ”

“Yup.” She leaned down, kissed her cheek again. “Merry Christmas, Kyouko.”

* * *

“You’re finally back.” Homura sniffied as Sayaka managed to catch up with Oktavia.

“Sorry. That was, ah… my place. Had to deal with Kyouko. Sorry.”

“Well. Make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“She’s asleep now. Don’t worry.”

They fell silent, wind howling past their ears, the sound of the Clara Dolls tossing doom onto the Incubators below drifting away into the night sky.

“...When did you last celebrate Christmas?”

“Hm?”

“I mean. With the… the time loop, and everything… from your perspective, it must have been…”

“I don’t  _ care _ …” She started sharply, then paused, her eyes turning down. “...I don’t remember. I don’t think my family ever really celebrated.”

“Guess it doesn’t really mean much to you, huh.”

“I spent years living in perpetual Spring. Christmas doesn’t really mean anything to me, but…” the wind caught her sigh and took it. “The city is beautiful in the winter. I’m glad Madoka can see it.”

Sayaka looked down, taking aim at an Incubator.

“Does Madoka like Christmas?”

She threw.

“...Sayaka?”

Another perfect shot. “...She loves it.”

Homura lowered her head. “Good. I’m glad to hear that.”

They spent the rest of the night in silence.

* * *

The sun had yet to rise when Sayaka returned home. The flow of Incubators had all but stopped - clearly, the cost wasn’t worth it to them anymore. They’d missed their chance. Humanity wins again.

She threw her pyjamas on in the dark, hoping to at least get  _ some _ sleep before dawn. Being a Magical Girl may have increased her stamina somewhat, but the moment she stopped using her powers fatigue hit her like a train. She needed rest, now.

She didn’t even think twice about climbing into bed with Kyouko.

* * *

“It seems we have failed.”

“Frankly, you shouldn’t be surprised by this point.” Homura retorted, leaning back on her favourite clifftop chair.

“We do not experience surprise, Homura Akemi. You should know this by now.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure you don’t.” She looked out at the dawn of Christmas morning over Mitakihara. It really was beautiful from up here. She frowned. “Hey, are you doing okay?”

“What do you mean by this?”

“Well, it’s just… your evil plans haven’t exactly been up to standard lately. I mean, this whole ‘stealing Christmas’ thing was… it was a little bit ridiculous, let’s be honest.”

“Well. I suppose my behaviour may have been affected of late by the lack of widespread hatred for me. Since nobody knows I exist anymore.”

Homura nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. Hey, if it makes any difference…” She kneeled down, placed a hand on his head. “ _ I _ hate you. And I don’t care about you. If you ever need anything, then I’m not here for you. Please God do not try to talk to me about your problems. I  _ will _ kill you.”

“...Thank you. That means a lot.”

“I hope you have a really shitty Christmas, Kyubey.”

“I already have, Homura Akemi. I already have.”

**Author's Note:**

> merry christmas if you're into that sort of thing. if you're not then congratulations on passively foiling kyubey's plan


End file.
